


danger has a hold on me (but i'm safe in your arms)

by mylifeiskara



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Emori Has a Danger Kink, F/M, Missing Scenes, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Semi-Public Sex, This is the closest thing to PWP y'all are ever getting out of me, We don't talk about it enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:14:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27905065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylifeiskara/pseuds/mylifeiskara
Summary: Emori was used to danger. She'd been fighting to survive her whole life. In fact, sometimes she lived for the thrill of it. And it just so happened that a chance encounter with an interesting stranger might turn out to change her life for the better.Or, five times Emori was in danger and liked it, and one time she was happy to be out of danger.
Relationships: Emori/John Murphy (The 100)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 15





	danger has a hold on me (but i'm safe in your arms)

**Author's Note:**

> So, this idea started as PWP back in like August? And like most of my ideas, it got out of hand. Then the finale happened and I was like "oh that works pretty well with my idea." And of course, I had to add feelings to it. But here we are now, and I had to get finishing and posting it out of the way because the further removed we get from the finale the more I get sad about the state of Murphy's mental health, so I wanted to finish this in case I start hating the mindspace scene hahahahaha.
> 
> Anyway, I don't write smut very often and after this story, catch me not writing it until at least some point in the middle of next year. But it's done now and even though I'm having mixed feelings about the ending now, I still like the results of this, so I hope you like it!

**~1~**

Emori was used to danger. She’s had to fight her entire life to survive, cast out by her clan because of something beyond her control. When she was younger, she was more aware of the eyes on her as they drifted to her left hand, the whispers of _frikdreina_ from adults that should have protected her. Emori couldn’t think of a time in her life where she’d ever felt safe. She had to grow up fast, had to learn to be resourceful and get herself out of sticky situations. Traveling back and forth between the Dead Zone was dangerous. But that didn’t mean that Emori didn’t sometimes love it.

There was a certain thrill to pulling off a heist. Acting like the damsel in distress, knowing Otan was only a few miles off ready to pounce when she arrived with the targets. And now, encountering people that had fallen from the sky only made her job easier. They were far too trusting, quick to offer a seemingly helpless girl assistance. It was almost _too_ easy. She and Otan would steal their things, and she’d never see them again. And they’d have more to sell and trade on their travels. They did what they must to survive.

It was rare for Emori to meet the same people she’d already come across in her travels. But she can’t say she was disappointed to find John Murphy again. When she saw him on the shore as the boat pulled up to the island, she couldn’t believe her luck. A boy from the sky, who seemed to know a thing or two himself about surviving. The first and only person to call her left hand “badass”, to appreciate a part of her that she had been taught to feel ashamed of. She almost felt a little bad pushing the knife to his throat and knocking him out, and hoped that her hint of “due north” would make up for it. She didn’t completely believe in the City of Light herself, but maybe John and his leader would get lucky and find it. She never expected to see him again when the woman in the flying machine gave her and Otan their next assignment.

She and John didn’t say much to each other as the boat moved. Every now and again, she caught him staring at her, but when she turned to look at him, he’d quickly turn his head as if he hadn’t been looking at all. She didn’t completely know what to make of him, and he seemed to feel the same way about her. She had to admit, he was very cute. Probably a year or two younger than she was. Emori almost wished she could get him alone, if only for a few minutes. She found her thoughts wandering, imagining a world where things were normal, where she was normal. Would her brain still be conjuring up the image of John’s lips on hers had they met under different circumstances? He was a complete stranger, traveling with a man that Emori didn’t trust in the slightest, and that meant she couldn’t trust John, either. But that didn’t stop her from being incredibly attracted to him.

When they finally docked on land, John was tasked with waking Jaha from his meditation or trance or whatever it was. Emori busied herself with helping Otan and Gideon unload things from the boat. She picked up the oddly shaped pack that Gideon seemed to be guarding with his life. He snatched it from her grasp in a huff. Emori was taken aback.

“Easy. I was just trying to help,” she said.

“As I recall, last time you helped, two of my friends blew up,” John remarked, coming up behind her. By now, they were the only two left on the boat.

Emori rolled her eyes. “No minefield this time. We go around the Dead Zone.”

“Let’s get a move on, you two,” Jaha called to them.

“Right behind you. We head west, toward that rise,” she answered, pointing into the distance.

Jaha, Gideon, and Otan all began walking as Emori picked up her bag and made her way off the boat. John kept close to her, though whether out of curiosity or something else, she wasn’t sure.

“You know this whole helpful guide act?” he questioned. “I’m not really buying it.”

Emori paused, a smirk on her face as she turned around to face John. She stepped forward, invading his space.

“Then I guess you’re just gonna have to keep an eye on me.”

They took a moment to size each other up, a smirk of his own forming. Eventually she turned back around. She didn’t trust him one bit, but he sure was cute. This was going to be fun.

They walked in silence as they caught up with the rest of the group, John following closely behind Emori. He set her on edge in a way she had never experienced before. But he seemed ready to roll with the punches, quick to throw jabs. No doubt he’d seen a little bit of life himself.

When they finally caught up, Gideon seemed to be meditating in the same way that Jaha was while they were on the boat. Emori busied herself gathering wood for a fire later. Otan seemed keen to make conversation with Jaha.

“Have you really been to the City of Light?” he asked.

Emori rolled her eyes. “Shut up, Otan. I’m not listening to that _skrish_ again.” She hated how enamored with the idea of the City of Light her brother seemed to be. He seemed to think it would solve all their problems, but it felt too good to be true to Emori.

Jaha took Otan by the arm. “Come. Walk with me.”

They walked further from the rest of them, leaving Emori with a meditating giant and a snarky boy as companions.

John snorted. “Thank God he’s got somebody else to preach to now, huh?”

Emori looked up at him from her wood pile. “Not a believer?”

“I believe _you’re_ here for a reason. Just don’t know what it is yet.”

“We were recruited.”

“Recruited by who?” he asked with a frown.

“We don’t know her name,” Emori explained. “She comes to us in the flying machine.”

“You mean the drone? Yeah, that’s how she found us, too. So what do you do for her?”

“We collect tech.”

“You mean steal it?”

“When we have to.” She wouldn’t have this boy judge her, especially when he seemed to have gotten into enough trouble of his own.

“We bring it to the island. To him,” she continued, pointing towards Gideon. “That’s how we survive. This time she said they needed a ride.”

Emori looked into the distance, realizing that Jaha and Otan wouldn’t be back anytime soon. Gideon seemed deep in his trance, the odd pack just lying there unattended next to him. She wanted to know what was inside, wanted to see if there was anything worth pocketing to sell to someone else. She got up from the ground and inched toward him.

“What are you doing?” John asked.

Emori turned back to him, annoyed he was questioning her.

“Don’t try to be a hero, and I’ll leave you on your feet this time.”

He smirked again. “Oh, a hero? And here I thought you got me.”

She held his gaze for a moment, slightly lost in his eyes before she got back to the task at hand. He grabbed her hand, stopping her in her tracks.

“Hold on, are you really about to steal from the people you steal for?” he asked.

“We have other buyers,” she said simply. “Now be quiet.”

Emori continued to move toward the pack, fueled by the thought of what she could get for whatever fancy piece of machinery was inside.

“Bad idea,” came John’s voice from behind her. She ignored him, continuing forward. What did he know? It’s not like he’d ever done this before.

Emori got close and knelt down next to Gideon. She reached out and inspected the pack, looking for whatever unlocked it. She was taken by surprise when Gideon’s eyes flew open and his large hand reached out for her, grasping her by the neck.

He lifted her off the ground, and Emori found herself gasping for air. She was so focused on trying to find air, trying to find some other way to breathe. This wasn’t how she thought she’d die. She vaguely heard John’s shouts for Gideon to put her down, saw a log smash over Gideon’s head, though it didn’t seem to do anything. Even as her vision clouded, she saw Gideon turn his head to John and she heard the unmistakable phrase:

“There is no pain in the City of Light.”

Still gasping for air, Emori used all her strength to reach for the knife hooked to her belt. She slashed at Gideon’s throat, blood gushing everywhere, all over her as he finally let her go. She gasped, allowing air to flow through her chest again. She and John watched in shock as Gideon’s large form fell to the ground, blood still spurting from his open wound. Emori snapped back into action, realizing what she’d just done, even if she was defending herself. She grabbed the unguarded pack and began heading in the direction of the boat. She turned around, realizing John wasn’t following her. He seemed slightly stuck to the spot. He’d have to get used to this if they were going to be travelling together now.

“You coming or what?” she called back to him.

That seemed to shake him out of his trance, as he jogged after her. She turned around again, breaking into a run. She needed to wash the blood off her face, she needed to come up with a plan. And she hoped whatever was in this pack was worth killing that man over.

Emori and John didn’t say much once they made it back to the dock. She put the pack down and busied herself with wiping the blood off herself. It wasn’t as though she’d never killed someone before or hadn’t had a brush with death. But she had to admit, she was a little shaken up from the whole ordeal. She tried to school her expression and take a few deep breaths as she finished wiping the blood from her face.

“As soon as Otan gets here, we can leave,” she said to John, hoping her voice didn’t sound as shaky as it felt.

“Partners in crime, huh?” John said bitterly.

Emori turned and walked toward him. He might have seen some things, but this life was still new to him.

“Whatever’s in there, we’ll split it three ways. You _earned_ that.”

“Yeah, and all we had to do was kill a guy.”

She crouched down next to him, studying the frown on his face. She wasn’t sure why she felt the need to reassure him, but that’s the only way she could explain what she did next. She leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. He looked at her in shock as she pulled away.

“Thank you for saving my life,” she said, not breaking eye contact with him.

They stared at each other for a moment, a sort of understanding passing between the two of them. Whatever this was, they were in it together now. Emori wasn’t a big believer in fate, but something led John Murphy to her. And whether that was a blessing or a curse was yet to be seen, but she knew she’d be in for an interesting ride while she figured it out.

**~2~**

Emori didn’t expect much from John Murphy when it came to sex. She’d initiated pretty much every move between them. John was cute, and she knew what she wanted, so she wasn’t phased or at all surprised when during the first time things got hot and heavy, he stopped them in between heated kisses to admit he’d never had sex before. A blush crept up his skin, and Emori had to hold back a laugh at how sheepish he looked. She didn’t want to make him feel bad, and she didn’t care in the slightest.

Emori knew that her first time with John wasn’t going to be that great. He was clearly nervous, but eager to please. She didn’t mind that she had to help him through most of it, because she finally got to have him in the way she’d wanted since they left the island. It sent a thrill down her spine and went straight to her center, letting this guy she barely knew touch her all over. She guided his hands in the right direction when he seemed at a loss for what to do with them, giving him free reign to explore her body, teaching him all the ways to make her gasp. She made it good for him, too. And even if it wasn’t the best for her, she still got off on the fact that she really didn’t know this guy. He was a stranger, someone she was just getting to know. She was pretty sure he didn’t trust her, and she knew she didn’t trust him. Not yet, at least. But that’s what made it all the more exciting.

Though John didn’t have any experience, he certainly was a quick learner. They got into a routine, the more time they spent together. During the day, they would travel through the woods, playing cons on unsuspecting travellers. They had the most success with John playing dead while Emori hid in the bushes, waiting to pounce before things got too dicey. She was used to this con with Otan, and though it was odd to not have him by her side, Emori couldn’t say she minded having John all to herself.

“Hold still,” she scolded him one afternoon as she applied animal blood to his face.

“Remind me again what the point of me taking my shirt off for these is?” John asked as Emori moved onto spreading the blood on his chest.

“Someone could have stolen your shirt. I’ve seen it happen before.”

“Are you sure it’s not just for your benefit?”

Emori looked up at him, that signature smirk of his on his face. She ducked her head as she felt her face heat up. For someone who could be so bashful sometimes, John was still an incredible flirt. So far his talk didn’t completely match up to his game, but Emori knew he’d improve. He had potential, and she wanted to see how far she could push him to reach it.

“That’s none of your business,” she answered.

“I mean, I already know you’re into me. You don’t have to hide the fact that you’re appreciating my body.”

She laughed as she wiped her hands on a piece of cloth hanging from her belt.

“I heard talk when we were out yesterday of a convening in Polis. This road is going to be much traveled as people make their way there. We should have some luck,” Emori said.

John nodded, running a hand through his hair. “So I guess I’ll play dead, now.”

“You do it so convincingly.”

He smiled, leaning in to press a kiss to her lips. It was slower than the ones they’ve normally found themselves in, something slightly different than Emori was used to, and it made her head spin in a way she wasn’t expecting. He might still be learning some things, but John wasn’t too bad of a kisser. So far she’d been good about not letting herself get too used to things with John. In her experience, people always left eventually. This was temporary. And the sex wouldn’t be as fun if she spent too much time getting to know him. But in the back of her mind, she almost found herself _wanting_ to get to know him. That wasn’t like her at all.

Emori pulled away before she had any more time to be in her head about whatever it was she and John were doing. They stole things from people and had sex. That was all. And it was all Emori needed. He was an itch to scratch until he got bored and decided he needed his people, after all. And she spent a lot more time convincing herself that she was okay with that than she’d like to admit.

“I’m going to hide,” she said before turning on her heels and finding a spot deeper in the woods. Once she was situated, she watched as John laid down on the forest floor, waiting for passersby.

The worst thing about these cons was the waiting game. It was never a sure thing when they would run into someone on these paths. Sometimes it took as little as a few minutes. Other times, they waited for hours. With Otan, she was the one playing dead, so she was used to lying still for long periods of time, but she felt restless as she watched John from her spot in the bushes. Thankfully this route was fairly well traveled, so they didn’t have to wait long before someone happened upon John’s still body.

The man was alone, pulling a cart filled with an assortment of items. He stopped a few feet away from John, putting down the cart as he cautiously approached.

“ _Hey, yu der_ ,” the man called out, before bending over to roll John onto his back.

It was usually at the point when travellers figured John was dead that Emori crept out of her hiding spot and made her way into the open. She stealthily made her way through the bushes as she inched closer to the scene, careful not to make too much noise. She was used to treading lightly, which is why John always played dead and she swept in at the last moment before anything could happen.

“ _I’m an dulasei hef_ ,” the traveler said, eyeing John’s shoes, “ _ba taim you’re odon strechplei, I’ll don your shoes_.” He began to untie them.

Emori pulled out her knife and held it in the man’s face. He was shocked, moving away from John’s feet.

“ _Oma lukot will kep in om shoes, thank yu_ ,” she said. “ _Ba taim yu don’t kok au, we’ll teik yu gon kep in yours._ ”

“Took you long enough,” John grunted as he stood up. Emori kept her knife trained at the man’s face.

The man eyed Emori and John in disbelief for a moment before glaring at Emori.

“ _May those yu hod in kom au eaten by pakstoka fou your eyes_ ,” he spat.

Emori’d had enough of this. She pulled her hand back and punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground. The joke was on him, anyway. She had no one she loved, so those wolves would starve. Emori swallowed the thought down, not wanting to feel too sorry for herself. That wouldn’t get her anywhere. She kicked at the man’s leg to make sure he was fully unconscious as John approached her.

“What did he say?” he asked, staring down at their victim.

Emori chuckled. “He said you’re cute. For a thief.”

“Yeah, well too bad he’s not really my type.”

Emori smiled and turned back to John, quickly pressing a kiss to his lips. This was her favorite part of their routine. The rush of adrenaline that coursed through her veins, that sent heat right through her. The slight brush with danger never failed to make her excited, and with John here she’d found the perfect outlet for her release. It didn’t matter that he was still learning when the mere thought of their dynamic already sent her reeling.

“Let’s get out of here.”

John smiled, practically scampering to get Emori’s bag as she turned back to the cart. She lifted it, and she and John began walking back in the direction of their cave. She couldn’t help but chuckle at his eagerness. He seemed to enjoy their nights together as much as she did. Emori had never felt wanted in this way before. In the past sex had been transactional, but with John it was actually pretty fun.

They wasted no time once they were back to the cave, Emori not wanting the high of their con to fade before she got off. She pulled John in for a searing kiss, pulling at his clothes as he backed them further into the cave. Their movements were frantic, neither of them wanting to break their kiss so they could get their shirts off. John was intoxicating, still so new to Emori, and she loved learning him in this way. His tongue roamed in her mouth, maybe a little too much for her taste, so she took that as the moment to pull away from him to pull her shirt off. He followed her lead, doing the same with his before surging forward, taking her face in his hands as she walked them back to the fur pelts they’d laid out on the ground.

They shed the rest of their clothes quickly as John’s hands wandered lower on her body. Emori let her eyes shut as he worked his fingers into her. He was still getting the hang of it, but so far he’d been a quick learner. Emori focused on the thrill of their recent con as he crooked a finger against her clit, causing her to gasp.

“Like that,” she moaned.

He grinned as his fingers continued to play, leaning in to kiss her again as he pushed her over the edge.

John whispered small comments in her ear about their con as he pushed inside of her, and Emori lost herself in the steady rhythm of his thrust. She liked that he was a little talkative, liked that it was how he showed he was enjoying himself. Sometimes she answered him, but other times she just chuckled at the things he said, especially since they all became slightly more incoherent the closer he got to coming.

John lasted a little longer than normal, Emori able to come again before he did. He pressed one last kiss to her lips before pulling out and flopping onto his side on the fur. They took a moment to catch their breath, both of them a sweaty, satisfied mess. He really was improving.

“And they say crime doesn’t pay,” John breathed.

Emori laughed, swatting a hand at John’s arm. He loved to make jokes, no matter the circumstance. It was one of her favorite things about him. They got quiet again, as John’s eyes drifted down to her left hand. Emori couldn’t help but stiffen as he stared at it.

John had been nothing but nice to Emori, down to every last bit of her. The first time they had sex, she was quick to pull her clothes off, except the glove that normally covered her left hand. John asked her about it, why she kept it on when he’d seen her hand already. He didn’t have a problem with it. She looked in his eyes at that moment, seeing the sincerity there and finally pulled her glove off, something she’d never done with anyone else. She wasn’t sure what it was about him, but something was telling her that she could trust him, at least about this.

Emori was brought back to the present as John took her left hand in his, bringing it to his chest. He smiled to himself as he held it to his heart, the part of herself that she’d been taught to despise, the part of herself that she’d never seen anyone handle with such care. He saw every bit of her, and he didn’t think she was any less beautiful because of it. Suddenly in her gut she realized she didn’t want him to be a stranger anymore.

“We make a pretty good team, don’t you think?” he asked after a moment.

She sighed, relaxing and letting her head fall back onto the fur. “Yes. I do.”

He flashed his crooked smile at her, the one that warmed her up immediately and made her stomach flip far more than it had any business doing. He leaned in to kiss her again. She laughed as he pressed kisses to her lips, her face, all over her body. For all his faults and his lack of experience, John Murphy was the first person to ever make Emori feel wanted. Whether that would change how she felt about the sex or not was yet to be seen, but she was excited to find out.

**~3~**

Emori thought it would always be her and John against the world. His people seemed to find him expendable, so they certainly wouldn’t take her in without putting up a fight. But when the death wave hit and Emori found herself up in space with John and a group of total strangers, she felt her whole world tilt on its axis as everything changed. When they first arrived, she was content to have John be her home. He’d said it himself, her home was with him. That was enough. But in the early days, she found herself reeling, unsure of what her purpose was when she wasn’t constantly fighting to survive. John, Raven, Bellamy, Monty, and Harper all grew up in space. They quickly became used to the Ring in a way that she and Echo could not. She sat with the Azgeda woman some nights, as they remembered what breathing fresh air was like, staring down at the dull sphere that was consumed by fire. John told them it used to look green, but Emori couldn’t picture it. Not when it looked so desolate and bare.

After her adjustment period, she found herself bored, and Raven mentioned she needed an assistant. Emori perked up at being asked to help, and jumped at the opportunity. She felt useful, like part of a team. And Raven quickly became her best friend. Emori had never really had a friend other than John before. And he was something different, her best friend, but also the person she loved more than anything. Though many nights were spent holed up in her room with John, she found herself wanting to venture out more, to spend time with the others. Emori had never really had a family before, but she decided this must be what that felt like. And she loved it.

The years passed, sometimes slowly, other times in a blur, and the realization that they wouldn’t be able to get back down to Earth in five years like they planned hit everyone like a ton of bricks, but Bellamy in particular. He mourned for Clarke, for his sister. Even on days where he seemed okay, Emori could sense his distress, his guilt. Much like when she first sat on the Ring with Echo, she began doing the same for Bellamy. Most times, they would sit in silence as they stared down at the Earth, Bellamy focused on one tiny patch of green. Every so often Emori would tell a story that Otan used to tell her or something stupid John said earlier in the day. She was pretty good at getting at least a chuckle out of him. She loved being there for people, and in turn they were there for her.

As Emori found her place, she felt John pushing away. She spent more time with the others and she always tried to get him to join in, but he wanted nothing to do with the group. There were times when he got quiet and sad, and she knew to leave him alone. But in the moments where he used to want comforting, he wouldn’t let her. He took his anger out on her, the snarky digs and retorts he usually had for others directed at her for the first time. It stung to hear them coming from his mouth, and she hurled them back, though the insults left a bitter taste in her mouth. As much as it pained her, as much as it made her heart ache, she wasn’t sure what else to do. She’d had enough, and she knew she had to walk away. The night she moved into Raven’s room she couldn’t sleep. She sobbed into her pillow until Raven got up and came to lie down next to her, rubbing her arm and telling her everything was going to be okay. But Emori didn’t think everything was going to be okay. She didn’t think John would ever leave her or that he would force her to leave him. The person she trusted most in the world broke her heart, but she couldn’t completely find it in herself to stop loving him.

Coming back to Earth was unexpected, but coming back to Earth to find an entire army of criminals and Octavia at odds over the only survivable land left on the planet almost sounded like some sort of movie that John used to love watching. Emori scolded herself for thinking of things that John loved. She wasn’t with him anymore, but she was still getting used to telling herself that, even after months apart.

Emori wasn’t sure what possessed her to jump out of the rover and stay behind with him. She shouldn’t care about him as much as she did, but she couldn’t help herself. Deep down she knew a part of her would always care, even if she was angry at him. She didn’t want him to be alone, not when there were too many adversaries in the woods and he had nothing to defend himself with.

That was what she told herself as they sat in wait for Eligius prisoners to come across the bomb they planted in the cave. She tried not to let her mind wander to how this reminded her of the days years ago when they first met, when they would stake out in the woods to steal from travellers. How they used to go back to their cave and have sex. In retrospect, the sex had been terrible, especially since John had improved greatly over the years. But she was so thrilled by their adventures that she didn’t mind or didn’t notice. Emori shook her head, mentally scolding herself again for losing herself down that train of thought. She couldn’t let herself think about that, not now. Not when Raven was still in trouble and they had no clue if Bellamy and Echo were okay. She turned to look at John next to her, his eyes trained on the cave. They waited a bit longer as they saw three prisoners approach.

Their makeshift rocket bomb went off, and a smile cracked on Emori’s face. She was able to get the collar off John’s neck and make a bomb all in the same evening. If only that girl in the desert could see her now. She turned to John, a similar look of excitement spreading on his own face.

“All right,” he said quietly.

She took in the smile on his face, the smile that she loved so much. She hated how he could still make her feel this way, like she was some lovesick teenager. She wasn’t. But she couldn’t help the way this situation sent a thrill down her spine, remembering how they used to be when they first met, how similar this felt to that. John must have been feeling the same way because he slowly leaned in until the next thing she knew his lips were on hers.

Emori was shocked at first, but it wasn’t like she could forget the sensation of kissing John after only three months without him. She was embarrassed at how quickly the heat flooded through her body as she melted into the kiss, not letting herself think about how much she had missed this. He pushed them down so they were lying back on the forest floor, though she quickly changed their position, rolling so that she was on top.

It was messy and frantic, hearkening back to their first days together. John fumbled with his hands, trying to reach for her jacket as their lips crashed together again. After a moment she pulled away, hovering inches from his face.

“This doesn’t mean we’re back together,” Emori said sternly.

A small smile flashed across John’s face, and she leaned in to kiss him again, intent on wiping it off his face. This time the kiss was hard, like they were both letting their anger fuel whatever this tryst was. Emori pulled away after a moment and sat up, still straddling him. He stared at her in what she could only describe as awe. That wasn’t the face he should be making at his ex. Memories flooded through her mind, of times he let her do as she pleased to him, how willing he had been to give himself to her. She tried to get out of her mind, to separate those times from what this was. They weren’t the same. She fumbled with her shirt but wasn’t able to pull it off before they were interrupted.

“Murphy,” a voice croaked from close to the cave. The stray prisoner took a few more steps before passing out.

Emori and John both turned in the direction of the voice, shocked and confused that anyone had survived that blast. She quickly rolled off of John so they could both stand, running towards the man. Emori stooped down to check his pulse. He was still breathing.

“That’s McCreary,” John said.

Emori bit back the anger that bubbled in her stomach at John identifying one of the men that tortured him, one of the men that still had Raven. It wouldn’t do her any good right now. But she looked up at him and smiled. Now they had leverage.

“We have a hostage,” she said.

John matched her grin and for a moment, Emori let herself pretend that everything was right between them again.

Emori couldn’t bear to spend more time in the cave with John while McCreary was passed out, so she settled for traipsing through the woods. She was still getting used to being on the ground again and breathing in the air helped her to clear her head. She didn’t need to make things more complicated with John than they already were. She had almost lost herself earlier, so caught up in the moment and thinking about the past. But this was the present, and she needed to remind herself of that. Emori knew John was impulsive, but sometimes she forgot how impulsive. So when she found him walking in front of McCreary with a gun pointed at his head, she wasn’t sure what to think. She hoped her first instinct was wrong.

“Tell me you didn’t make a deal with the man who tortured you and hunted you like an animal,” she hissed at him.

John bit back a grimace. “I did.”

“John!” How could he do something so reckless? What possessed him to think this was a good idea?

“Emori, this is how we save Raven.”

“How?”

“We walk right in the front door as prisoners. They’ll collar us to make it look real, but I figure…”

“I know how to take them off,” Emori said as she began to understand the rest of John’s plan.

He nodded. “Mmhmm.”

She hesitated. It was a good plan, but so many things could go wrong.

“Mm, I don’t know. We killed two of his people.”

“Look, Emori. I don’t trust the guy, either. But we want the same thing.”

“What?”

“To survive.”

Survive. Emori hadn’t heard that word from John in a long time. Lately it seemed like he’d given up on that. But now, back on Earth he seemed to have found some sort of purpose again. It hurt Emori a little too much to see him be this John again. She didn’t know if she could handle it.

“Come on. We zip in, we get Raven, we zip out. We get the others after, okay?” he continued.

Emori nodded. “Okay. I’m in.”

“Good.” He nodded before turning back to where McCreary was sitting, but she grabbed his hand to stop him. He turned back to her with a frown.

“That’s all I’m in for, John,” she said.

John peered back in McCreary’s direction, then lowered his voice before speaking again. “Look, I hate to do this with a psychopath sitting on the next tree, but I thought this was what you wanted. You and me together, working as a team.”

“Yes, it is. John. Seeing you like this, seeing you fighting to survive. _This_ is the John Murphy I fell in love with. We’re running through the woods with a killer about to become prisoners in order to save our friends and I find myself wanting to rip your clothes off. This—as soon as this fight is over—you will fall apart again.”

“Emori—”

“Trouble in paradise?” McCreary called from his tree.

John shook his head. “No, we’re good here. Tie her up.” And without another look at her he walked forward.

Emori sighed as she let McCreary tie her up, following a decent distance behind John. She couldn’t stand next to him, not now. She hated how much of a hold he still had over her, how much she still loved him. She couldn’t go through losing him again, so she had to guard her heart. She wasn’t kidding when she said she wanted to rip his clothes off. She was deeply annoyed that McCreary stumbling out of the cave had interrupted them, especially since they hadn’t had many civil words to say to each other since that incident.

All Emori wanted to do was have that one moment of pretend. That one moment where things were back to normal, just like they were at the beginning. But with better sex. She fought back the tears threatening to fall. She’d cried enough over John, and she didn’t want to do it in front of a mass murderer. Emori thought coming back to Earth would be joyous, but now that they’re here, she almost wished she could go back up to space, when her feelings towards John were far less complicated.

**~4~**

Emori tensed as she heard the crowds outside the palace descend into chaos. There was never a dull moment in Sanctum, and that seemed to reign true as Clarke attempted to move Russell into the palace to keep him further away from the Children of Gabriel. John had been quick to brush off Raven’s idea that they should play the parts of Daniel and Kaylee. Though, John was a little out of sorts at the moment. Emori understood what Raven was getting at. The believers revered the Primes, looked to them for guidance. It might help to get things under control if she and John impersonated Daniel and Kaylee, if only for an afternoon.

She turned to him as the Children of Gabriel’s shouts of “Death to Primes” became louder. He stared into his cup, as if he was willing it to refill itself. Emori hated that he carried so much guilt, especially for things that were beyond his control. She wished she could do something more for him, wished she could take away the pain. And maybe later she could find a way to help him feel better. But the situation at hand seemed to be getting rather urgent. She placed a hand on his arm and he turned to look at her.

“Maybe Raven had the right idea,” Emori said quietly.

John snorted. “What, not you too?”

“John, we have a surefire way to help our friends. Don’t you think we should take it?”

He studied her for a moment, probably trying to see if she had some sort of plan. She didn’t. She thought it might help. And she didn’t mind that people seemed to worship her. It could be fun.

“Eh, what the hell.” He placed his glass down on the bar and stood up. “Let’s be Primes.”

Emori followed suit, standing from her seat as she and John walked out of the bar. He opened the door and Emori was overwhelmed with the noise. The Children of Gabriel, the faithful, the Eligius prisoners. Everyone was shouting and upset and in the middle of it all stood their friends, trying to lead Russell into the castle. It was a mess, and she looked to John, neither of them completely sure what they were about to get themselves into. He nodded at her before stepping into the madness.

“HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING? Huh?” he shouted, walking forward.

Emori followed next to him, the crowd parting as they made their way through. She held herself differently as they neared their friends. People looked at her in awe. She felt powerful and she loved every bit of it.

“Let them pass,” she said to one of the faithful. Trey, if she was remembering his name correctly. She rested a hand on his shoulder once she was close enough. “We can trust Wonkru. After all, we are one.”

Trey studied her for a moment before repeating to the crowd, “We are one!”

His followers mumbled the phrase, clearing a path so Indra could take Russell into the castle. Mission accomplished. Clarke and Miller looked at her and John in disbelief, while Raven stood there with a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

“We are one?” John asked her once people had cleared away.

“It’s from Kaylee’s journal,” Emori explained. “Her slogan when she stopped oblation.”

He chuckled, and Emori noticed that fiery look in his eyes he got when he was turned on. This was not the time, but he didn’t seem to care as he leaned closer to her.

“You are so hot right now,” he growled.

Heat pooled in Emori’s stomach at his words and his tone, making her jump. She put out a hand and backed slightly away from him. She didn’t want to blow their cover, not when they had just done so well.

“Sister,” she reminded him quietly, though it didn’t seem to calm him down.

“My idea,” Raven said triumphantly to Clarke.

Clarke nodded. “Good one. Of course now the Children of Gabriel want them dead.”

“The lengths some people will go to live in a castle,” Miller said, shaking his head at them.

Emori perked up at the suggestion. She hadn’t even considered that. “We get to live in the castle?”

“If they’re gonna get murdered in their sleep, better here than at the farmhouse with us,” Miller added.

Raven smiled. “He does have a point. I need my eight hours.”

Clarke looked to Emori and John. “Okay. For now. At least until they kill you.”

Clarke motioned for Miller to follow her and they made their way up the path and into the castle.

“So, do we get to pick a room?” John asked once they were gone.

Raven chuckled and rolled her eyes before walking off towards the machine shop. Emori was left standing alone in the square with John, while she was pretending to be his sister, but all she wanted to do was push him up against a wall and kiss him senseless. This was going to be an inconvenient arrangement. But at least they got a nice living space out of it.

“Nobody needs us right now,” Emori mumbled. “We could always go somewhere more private.”

He grinned and they both turned in the direction of the castle. John nearly broke out into a run, causing Emori to laugh, though she schooled her excitement, seeing as there were people still around. She didn’t want to draw too much attention to herself. People would have their eyes on her now, since they thought she was Kaylee. She’d have to remind herself not to touch John in public, no matter how much she wanted to. They couldn’t blow their cover. But at the same time, the idea of getting caught was doing things for her.

Emori and John entered the castle, and nobody was around. She took John’s hand and he raised an eyebrow at her, but she just smiled, pulling him up the stairs in search of a slightly more secluded spot.

She turned at the landing to capture his lips in a kiss. He kissed her back, not missing a beat, though he did pull away in confusion.

“What about our cover?” he asked.

“We won’t get caught,” she responded simply.

John’s eyes darkened as he leaned in to kiss her again. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he deepened the kiss. Emori bit his lip, causing him to moan as he opened up to let her tongue in. She was already reeling, a sense of urgency in their movements as they were on high alert in case someone saw them.

Emori pulled away, and the little whine John let out at the loss of contact was intoxicating.

“Let’s move away from the stairs.”

He nodded, following her further onto the second floor. Emori didn’t know where much of anything was, but she was excited for the chance to explore, to find all the little corners where she and John could ditch the brother and sister act for at least ten minutes. She led them down a hallway that was separated from the next section of the castle by a large velvet curtain.

“Perfect,” Emori said, as she pulled the curtain closed behind them.

“Oh, we’re really gonna do it out in the open?”

She smirked, pulling him closer to her by his belt loops. “Doesn’t that sound fun to you?”

He nodded. “It sounds very fun to me.”

Emori laughed as she took his face in her hands and kissed him again, not wasting anymore time. John pushed her further back into their corner, so her back was up against a wall. The heat had been building since she kissed him on the landing and it was almost unbearable now. She needed him to touch her. She guided one of his hands to the hem of her shirt, and he took the hint, snaking it up to reach inside to cup her breast. Emori moaned at the touch, his hand searing an imprint on her skin.

John pulled back to move his lips to her neck and collarbone. Emori let out another content sigh as his lips moved lower, but he stopped kissing her to look her in the eye.

“Mori, someone could hear you,” he said, his eyes dark.

Emori nodded. “I’ll be quiet. Just touch me.”

John moved his hands to the zipper on her pants, pulling them down just enough so he could hook his hand into her underwear. He groaned at how wet she already was, and she let out a gasp as his finger brushed across her slit.

“Now who’s not being quiet,” Emori chuckled.

“I didn’t think you’d be so wet. You like this? The fact that someone could catch us?”

As he spoke John rubbed methodical circles around her clit before plunging a finger inside her. Emori bit her lip, holding in the gasp that threatened to slip out. She let her head rest on the wall as John worked another finger into her. She felt her orgasm build, and John’s other hand came to rest over her mouth, muffling whatever sound was probably bound to escape.

Emori moaned into John’s hand as he applied pressure to her clit the closer she got. He knew how to get her off quickly after years of practice, and this was a situation where they couldn’t necessarily take their time. Someone could walk by. That thought mixed with John’s relentless fingers pushed her over the edge and she let her eyes flutter shut as she let out another moan. She moved John’s hand from her mouth, pulling him back in for another searing kiss. This man would be the death of her, but she didn’t mind in the slightest.

“That was hot,” John said, a grin on his face.

“We’re not done, yet,” Emori said. “Don’t you wanna fuck me?”

He nodded, kissing her again as he pressed her further into the wall. Emori palmed the front of his jeans, smiling against his lips as she felt how hard he was. She pulled away so she could fumble with his zipper to help him get his pants down slightly, letting his cock spring free.

John wrapped his arms around Emori’s legs to hoist her up, and she responded by wrapping her legs around him. He lined himself up as he thrust into her. Emori gasped at the sensation. She knew what it was like to feel John fill her up, but that along with them fucking almost in plain sight was so thrilling that it brought something different into the mix. It was dangerous and it shouldn’t turn Emori on as much as it did, but she couldn’t help herself, overwhelmed as John began moving inside of her.

He let out a few quiet grunts of his own, making sure to hold her steady as they were pressed up against the wall. She could tell he was holding back, less talkative than usual, probably because he didn’t want to be heard. He was taking his time, something they didn’t have the luxury to do right about now.

“Speed it up, John,” she whispered.

He nodded, bucking his hips as he pushed deeper into her. Emori let her head fall back again, losing herself in the movement. She almost let out a moan, but stopped herself at the last moment. She was glad she did, because she heard voices from in front of the curtain. Her eyes widened as she looked at John, who was equally shocked.

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to let Murphy and Emori stay here?” she heard Miller ask Clarke.

Clarke and Miller’s footsteps were close, only inches away from her and John’s hiding spot. John lifted a hand to Emori’s mouth again, though he didn’t let up on his thrusts. It was excruciating, but Emori was still so excited by the thought of getting caught that she could feel her orgasm building again.

“It’s probably a good idea in the long run to have someone on the inside all the time,” Clarke answered. “And since people think they’re Daniel and Kaylee, maybe they’ll trust them with information they wouldn’t tell just anyone.”

“Good point.”

Emori groaned into John’s hand as her orgasm hit, and in an attempt to keep quiet, she bit him.

“Fuck,” John whispered before his eyes widened and he realized what he’d done.

The next few seconds felt like ages as Emori and John held their position, with John still inside her, behind the curtain. Emori could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She would probably be more terrified if it weren’t their friends behind the curtain. She should still be a little terrified, but the worst that’ll happen to them if Clarke and Miller find them is they’ll get yelled at.

“Did you hear something?” Clarke asked.

“Maybe?” Miller said. “I don’t know, I fucking hate this castle.”

“Hmm, weird. Well keep me updated on the guard schedules.”

Clarke and Miller’s voices got quieter as they walked back down the hallway, probably on their way out of the castle. Once they were gone, John resumed his thrusts, though he was close, so it wasn’t much longer before he came himself, muffling his own sounds by pressing one last kiss to Emori’s lips. She let her head rest on his shoulder as they caught their breaths. John pulled out, and Emori immediately missed the closeness. She unwrapped her legs from his and planted her feet on the ground so they could pull up their clothes and make themselves look somewhat presentable again in case they ran into someone else.

“There’s never a dull moment with you,” John said with a chuckle as he zipped his pants again.

Emori chuckled as she patted down her hair. “But that’s what makes this so fun.”

“Yeah.” He took her hand and pulled her closer to him, kissing her slow and deep. She wrapped her arms around him, losing herself again in his touch. It was the polar opposite of their frantic movements from moments ago, but it still sent Emori’s head spinning. She loved that after all these years, John could still do that to her.

“Why don’t we actually go find a room now? It’ll probably be good to wash up before we do anything else.”

“Sounds like a plan, Kaylee,” John said as he pulled back the curtain.

Emori laughed. “Ew, no! Please don’t call me Kaylee when I just had sex with you.”

“Yeah, it did feel a little weird as it left my mouth.”

“You’re impossible.”

“But you love me.”

Emori grinned and nudged John’s shoulder. “Yes, I do.”

She was glad that they didn’t get caught in the end, but she couldn’t say she didn’t find the whole thing incredibly thrilling. And with so much more of the castle to explore, Emori made mental note of secluded corners they passed on the way to Kaylee’s bedroom. She didn’t know how long they’d be here for, but she certainly wanted a repeat.

**~5~**

Ever since they arrived on Sanctum, it felt like the new story of Emori’s life that every time things seemed like they might get heated between her and John, someone had to interrupt them. They had barely known a moment’s peace, and now that Sheidheda had taken over, they probably wouldn’t know real peace until Clarke and the others returned. Now that all their hostages were safe in the reactor, she finally thought they’d get a moment alone and they didn’t have any time to waste.

The machine shop held a special place in Emori’s heart. Though it seemed like a lifetime had passed, it was only a few days ago that John was down on one knee in front of her, presenting her with mind drives and asking her for forever. Now they had some time to kill as they waited for Jackson to bring them more supplies. She pulled John upstairs, eager to get her hands on him. He’d been so heroic and there was something about this side of him that almost made her shiver.

Once they were upstairs, Emori leaned in and kissed John. Their lips moved together, much slower than normal, especially considering they could get interrupted any moment. But Emori was tired of rushing through things. She liked to take her time, to relish in the feel of John’s body against hers. It was a sensation she never tired of and one that always got her excited. She moaned into John’s mouth as he tongue slipped in and her hands went to help him unbutton his shirt. He hadn’t been buttoning them up very far lately, which she loved. It made it much easier to get them off.

John’s hands began to roam lower on her body as there was a knock at the door. It was probably Jackson. John groaned as he pulled away from Emori, buttoning his shirt slightly as he descended the stairs and went to open the door. Emori mourned the loss of contact, wanting nothing more than for Jackson to quickly hand off the supplies and then leave. All she wanted was twenty minutes, half an hour, tops. Was that too much to ask?

Emori paced on the second floor as Jackson explained to John what to do with the supplies. He said he’d be back when he could get some food. John closed the door and headed to the reactor, pressing the password into the keypad to unlock the reactor door. She listened as he handed off the medical supplies to Trey and Jeremiah, the father of the boy he saved. He repeated the same instructions that Jackson gave him back to them. Trey seemed worried they had made the wrong choice to hide away, wondering aloud if they should have kneeled after all. John calmed him down, knowing that Sheidheda was ruthless and would get rid of anyone he didn’t find useful eventually. Trey didn’t seem all that comforted by that, but quietly took the supplies and went back into the reactor.

Jeremiah didn’t follow Trey right away, taking a moment to put his hand on John’s shoulder.

“I was right to believe in you,” he said with a smile on his face. With that he went back through the reactor door, and John closed it behind him. Emori couldn’t see John’s face, but she knew he probably looked confused. He never did know how to take a compliment.

Emori rested her arms on the balcony overlooking the first floor of the machine shop, smiling down at John as he stared at the door.

“I’m proud of you, too,” she said, her heart bursting with pride.

John scoffed as he made his way back upstairs. “Yeah? What for? Trey’s right. Hoping that we survive long enough for our friends to come and save us isn’t a plan.”

Even though the words coming out of his mouth should fill her with some sort of dread, she couldn’t help but smile. She sat down at the foot of the bed, waiting as he got all the way up the stairs. He frowned when he saw her face.

“You’re smiling?”

She chuckled. “Sorry. It’s just… you’re not worried about yourself. And I find that incredibly sexy.”

John smirked as he stepped closer to her. “Hmm. Behavior that greatly increases our risk of death is sexy to you.”

Emori chuckled again, amused by the fact that he said it more like a fact than a question. She reached her arms up to pull his shirt off.

“Who knew?” she asked with a smirk of her own. He knew what turned her on.

“Yeah.”

Emori leaned back as John propelled forward, but they were surprised by the way the bed creaked under them, causing a less than graceful tumble for both of them. John was able to catch himself before falling completely on Emori, but they laughed together as they recovered from the shock.

“Ow,” Emori said. “It’s no castle.”

John shook his head, leaning over to caress a hand across her cheek. “No. Even a cave, a garage… With you, all of them are castles.”

Emori felt herself blush. John really had a way with words sometimes, and it always pulled her out of even their horniest moments and caught her completely by surprise. She was so in love with this man it was insane. She grinned as he leaned in to kiss her, though unfortunately it was just their luck that there was another knock on the door.

“Is it Jackson again?” Emori asked with a frown. She hadn’t expected him back so soon.

John frowned himself, clearly thinking the same thing. “I don’t think so. Stay here.”

He got up from the bed, buttoning his shirt as he made his way back downstairs. Emori sighed as she sat up. Maybe one day she and John would finally get some real time alone. As much as she loved the thrill of their precarious situation, it was starting to prove to be a bit more inconvenient than fun. Maybe they were better off waiting until there was a moment’s peace.

**~6~**

Emori had never given much thought to how she’d die. She tried her hardest to survive, and was honestly shocked she’d made it this far, but when the bunker collapsed and she felt the rebar go through her, she knew it was the end. She loved John and Raven, even Jackson, for doing everything they could to save her, but she knew her time was up. She made peace with it as they hammered through the floor to the anomaly stone so they could get back to Sanctum. And with her last breath she wished with every ounce of strength left in her that John would be able to let her go. She loved him more than she thought it could be possible to love someone, and she wanted him to be happy, even if that was a long way off.

Though Emori figured she’d die sooner rather than later, she had never given much thought to what would be waiting for her on the other side. She opened her eyes, blinking a few times as she took in her surroundings. She sat up, recognizing the light-as-air mattress beneath her as Kaylee’s bed in Sanctum. Perhaps whatever the other side was took on the form of a place she loved most or associated good memories with. Emori reveled in the feel of her silk nightgown against her skin as she stood and made her way over to the window. She pulled back the curtain, expecting to find the normal view from the Sanctum palace, but instead she found the Dead Zone. She stared out into the vast desert, a place that had become so distant in her memories, even though she spent so much time there. It was an entire lifetime ago, and she still couldn’t believe how far she’d come since then.

“I remember that,” someone called from behind. She’d know his voice anywhere.

Emori’s heart skipped a beat as she turned around to find John standing before her. He was dressed in his own Sanctum pajamas, shirt mostly undone. She never understood why he bothered to put it on if he wasn’t going to button it more. But she didn’t see the use in complaining, when she didn’t mind the view.

“The place where we first met. Love at first knife to throat,” John continued. He walked toward her, his grin getting larger by the second until they were standing right in front of each other. “Oh, you are so beautiful.”

She smiled back at him. “John, where are we?”

“Josephine called it the mindspace. If it were up to me, I would have chosen our cave, but…”

The gears began turning in Emori’s head as John brought up the mindspace. As much as she was glad to see him, he shouldn’t be here. Something was wrong. She reached her hand out and placed it on his chest, feeling for his heartbeat. He stared down at it as he trailed off.

Emori looked at him solemnly. “I died.”

“You did,” he said with a nod, before scrunching up his face as though holding back tears and adding, “Not acceptable.”

Emori let out a surprised chuckle. Leave it to John to make a joke in this situation.

“You put my mind drive in your head,” she realized. “Two minds, one body. You’ll die too. You have to take it out.”

“Without you, I’d just be surviving, Emori. I wouldn’t be living.”

“No.” She couldn’t let him do this. He couldn’t die, not for her.

He stepped forward, taking her face in his hands. His touch was soothing, even though she wanted nothing more than for him to just let her go.

“Hey, hey. I would take a few more hours with you over forever without.”

Emori was speechless, overwhelmed by John’s admission. She knew he loved her, knew how much she meant to him, but hearing him say those words still scared her. All her life she’d never thought someone could love her so deeply, could care about her so much. Then John came into her life and changed everything. She wasn’t worth all this, she couldn’t let him die for her.

“No, no,” she said, her voice shaking as she stepped back from him. “You can’t do this. I won’t let you do this. So wake up.”

She shoved her hands to his chest, trying to scare him awake, trying to do anything to get him out of here. She couldn’t let this be his fate.

“Emori,” John sighed.

“Just wake up. Wake up!” she shouted as she pushed him again. She moved to the center of the room, searching for the exit. “Jackson! Jackson! Wake him up, don’t let him do this!”

“Emori.”

Emori shouted for Jackson again, tears stinging her eyes as John came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. John couldn’t die. She didn’t want him to die too. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

“Don’t! Let go of me!” she shouted at him, trying to break free from his grasp.

“Stop, stop, hey. This is okay with me!” John said, still trying to pull her close.

Emori felt her voice give out and the fight left her as she relaxed in John’s arms.

“No, it’s not okay with me,” she whispered.

John whispered in her ear. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Emori let his voice sooth her, despite her earlier protests. For as much as she wished John would be able to let her go, she knew it would be hard for him. Just like it was hard for her. They stayed like that for a moment, Emori finally letting John just hold her. It was quiet, except for a soft melody playing in the distance.

Emori lifted her head. “What’s that?”

John let go of her with a chuckle. She turned around to find a smile on his face, his eyes brimming with tears.

“What?” she asked quietly.

“The last time I asked you to dance, you stabbed me with a butcher knife.”

She shrugged, letting out a small laugh. “Relationships.”

“Yeah,” he said with a nod.

John extended his hand to her, a hopeful smile on his face. Emori stared for a moment, knowing if she took it, she was accepting him staying here, letting him die. Had she done enough to stop it? She knew how stubborn he was, so even if she did fight it, it was probably a battle she would’ve lost anyway.

Emori had been thinking a lot about how much he loved her, but she hadn’t stopped to consider how she felt about him. She’d never thought she’d feel a love like this for anyone, but when John stumbled into her life, she knew there was something special about him. And after everything they’ve been through, they kept coming back to each other. She loved him so deeply, loved him in a way she didn’t think was even possible. And looking at his face in that moment, she knew she did want to spend these last few hours with him. Her eyes filled with tears as she took his hand and stepped into his arms.

Emori melted into John’s touch, allowing herself to be enveloped in him. She buried her head into his neck, as he did the same with her, a few of his tears falling to her shoulders. They spun slowly, allowing the rest of the world to melt away around them as the distant music continued. In John’s arms, she was home. Her own tears finally fell from her eyes as she smiled, thinking about how much she loved this man. The first person to ever make her feel special and wanted. The first person to let her know she mattered. It wasn’t at all how she pictured the ending of their story, but now that it was happening, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I love you so much,” John mumbled into her shoulder.

“I love you, too,” Emori answered, pulling back so he could see her face. “I never thought anyone could love me or that I could love anyone until I met you.”

More tears escaped John’s eyes as he nodded. He was too overcome with emotion, and it made Emori well up again herself, but she knew he felt the same way.

John couldn’t form words, but he said everything he needed to say by pulling her in for a kiss. His lips were soft, but urgent, like he was putting his whole life into the kiss. And in a way, maybe he was. Emori deepened the kiss, content to end her story with John the way it began: in an all-consuming frenzy of emotion. Then it was lust; now it was complete and utter love and devotion. She never knew she needed that from anyone, but she couldn’t imagine her life without it, without him.

John’s hands roamed lower, as his kisses became more insistent and his tongue worked its way into her mouth. A thrill ran down Emori’s spine as he cupped her ass, lighting a fire in her that she never tired of. Her arms moved to pull his shirt off. John never wanting to button his shirts all the way certainly had perks. She bit at his lip, causing him to moan as she pushed him back to the bed. She loved that she could do that to him, that she could make him unravel with the slightest touch. It sent heat straight to her core and she couldn’t wait to get her hands fully on him.

They finally made it to the bed, John sitting down on the edge as Emori straddled him. She didn’t want to break their kiss yet, intoxicated by the feel of his mouth against hers, even after so many years together. One hand kept her in place on his lap, while the other skirted her thigh, making its way underneath her nightgown. She gasped as his hand touched her bare skin, moving up to cup her breast. He pulled his lips away from hers, moving them to press kisses to her neck and chest. She hummed contentedly, glad to let him take his time. They hadn’t had a chance to go slowly lately.

“John,” she whispered as his mouth got lower on her chest.

He looked up from his work, a smirk on his face. She rolled her eyes, letting out a chuckle. He couldn’t stop being smug for one minute.

“This is too much fabric,” he said, tugging at Emori’s nightgown. She lifted her arms to help him remove it. Now, with her breasts bare he went back to kissing down her body, moving them so Emori was lying back on the bed.

Emori let her eyes flutter shut as John kissed down her body. He knew her so well, knew what made her tick, and she knew he’d take care of her. She was pliant under his touch, happy to let him do what he wanted. She was all his.

She let out a gasp as his finger slipped into her underwear and brushed against her clit.

“God, you’re so wet already,” he muttered, eyes dark as he stared at her.

“That’s what happens when you touch me,” she joked.

He laughed, pressing another kiss to her lips before pulling her underwear all the way off. His lips moved back down her body again, until he was by her thighs, and Emori shivered as he licked everywhere but where she really needed it.

“John,” she breathed.

That was all the encouragement he needed before he plunged his tongue inside of her. She gasped as his tongue lapped around her clit, sending electric waves through her entire body. He was good at this, knew exactly what made her feel good. All John ever wanted to do was make her feel good, and she reached her hand down to thread her fingers through his hair as he pushed her closer to the edge with his mouth.

“God, John,” Emori moaned as she got closer. He moved his hand to her clit, not letting up as he could tell she was almost there. When she finally made it, she cried out, her body almost short circuiting and he didn’t let up as she rode the wave of her orgasm.

John lifted his head, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Emori rolled her eyes and pulled him in for another kiss. He’d really gotten too confident after all these years, but she couldn’t say that she minded all that much. His skills matched up, so it was only fair. He hovered on top of her as their mouths moved together and Emori’s hands moved to his pants. She eagerly pulled at the waistband, willing him to take them off. He laughed into her mouth before breaking the kiss and pulling them fully off, along with his boxers.

Emori paused for a moment, taking in John’s naked body. He’d always been beautiful to her, but over the years, he’d filled out slightly as they’d gotten older and she loved the way he’d changed. After all this time she was still in disbelief that he was all hers.

She pushed him down on the bed and he grinned at her, his eyes dark, yet filled with so much love. Emori straddled him, leaning down to kiss him again, practically aching to have him inside of her. His hands roamed her body and he moaned into her mouth, a sound that never failed to make her shiver.

“I want you inside of me,” she whispered against his mouth.

“You’d get no complaints from me,” he answered with a chuckle.

Emori laughed before pressing kisses to his neck and chest. She hovered over him as she lined herself up and sunk onto him. The groan he let out as he entered her sent heat all through Emori’s body and she let out a sigh as he filled her.

Her pace as she moved on top of him was slow at first, as she got used to the feel of him inside her. John grabbed at her hips as he lifted himself up to meet her lips. His hands seared an imprint on her skin as they kissed, every sensation hitting Emori like it was the first time, but this time was so much better. She’d never known anyone as well as she knew John, and right now they were the only two people in the universe who mattered.

She pulled away from his lips to look into his eyes. They were shiny with tears and she moved her hands up to his face to wipe them away.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, frowning with concern.

John shook his head. “Nothing, don’t stop. I’m just happy you’re here.”

Emori chuckled as a few tears of her own fell. John had always been a romantic, and this was no different. “I’m happy you’re here, too.”

He leaned in to kiss her again, his hands moving to her hips as he moved them so she was lying back on the bed and he was on top of her. His thrusts became quicker, Emori moaning at the new pace and angle. John knew how to take care of her.

“I love you so much, baby,” he growled. The sound sent a shiver through Emori’s body. It’s how she knew he was getting close himself.

Emori felt her orgasm build as John thrust deeper into her. She took his hand and moved it to her clit. He took the hint and rubbed circles. Emori gasped, the friction of him pressing into her and the stimulation from his finger working together to send her over.

She cried out his name as she came again. She’d gotten used to being quiet, whether not wanting other people on the Ring to hear them or not wanting to get caught while they were pretending to be siblings. Emori knew how much John loved to hear her scream, and it seemed to help push him over the edge as well, since he came not long after her. He stayed on top of her for a moment, Emori pulling him in for a lazy kiss before he pulled out of her.

Once he was on his side of the bed, John pulled her into his arms, holding her close to his chest. She matched her breathing with the heavy rise and fall of his as they both calmed down. Emori was content, lying in bed with the man she loved more than anything in the world and she was glad to have him still after everything they’d been through.

“Who knew it would take dying just to have sex without getting interrupted?” John mused after a moment.

Emori chuckled. Even after all these years she was still endlessly amused by his random musings.

“This isn’t what I pictured for us,” he continued. “I was kind of hoping once the dust settled we could make a life, maybe have a family.”

Emori’s stomach twisted at John’s words. He still could have had those things. Sure, they would have been with someone else, but he could have had them, nonetheless. He didn’t have to do this. Maybe she should have fought a bit harder to get him to go back. It was too late for him now, too.

“You still could have had that, John,” she whispered, her voice shaky as she tried to hold back tears.

His hand came to rest on her cheek. “Emori, I didn’t want any of those things without you. I never pictured much of a life for myself, but when I did, you were always there. So if we can’t have that, I’m alright with this.”

Emori stared into his eyes. She saw the sincerity there, the love he had for her. It was still overwhelming, but she couldn’t say she minded the feeling. It was no use thinking about what might have been in their last moments together. She nodded, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips.

“Thank you,” she said as she pulled away.

He frowned. “What for?”

“For loving me. Even when I didn’t think I deserved it.”

John chuckled, resting his hand on top of her badass one. “I should be saying that to you.”

“Why don’t we just call it even?”

He smiled at that. “Sounds good to me.”

Emori smiled back at him, giving him one last kiss before turning so he could hold her. They whispered quietly to each other, holding each other close as they looked back on their time together, neither of them certain what lay ahead. That didn’t matter though, as long as they had each other.

Emori had never felt as safe as she did when she was in John’s arms, and this was no exception. For as much as she loved danger, lately Emori had come to cherish the quiet moments, where she could forget the rest of the world, no matter how briefly, and just be lost in John. He was the love of her life, the only person to ever make her feel that way, and as they watched in awe as their hands glowed together and they accepted their fate, she knew that everything would be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you think.
> 
> If you'd like to see Murphy get some therapy, you can prompt me through t100 Fic for BLM! The prompt ideas board linked on [our carrd](https://t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co/) has a Memori trying to move on after they break up story (though they get back together, I promise) with my name on it that would in fact involve Murphy going to therapy, so if you were wondering what to prompt me but weren't sure, it could totally be that!
> 
> And you can come find me on [Tumblr](https://queenemori.tumblr.com/) or my new [Twitter](https://twitter.com/queen_emori)!


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